I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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