What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
