I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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