Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
