She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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