I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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