You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
