i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
