hell yes lets make some ravioli
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
