i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
