My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
