well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
