I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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