how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
