i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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