bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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