ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
so much tequila, so little girl.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
