Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
