the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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