Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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