It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
