i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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