I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
