i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
