i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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