Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
