I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
