I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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