His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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