Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
