to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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