Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My penis needs a shock collar
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
