mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
