We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
