Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
