We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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