Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I will be naked everywhere
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
