i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My hand turned me down
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
