why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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