shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
