i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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