is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
