So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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