What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
