If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
