I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
