I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize