Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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