Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
