I bet he comes in French.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
